this is one of my friday students. hahas. and this is e true meaning of 认真的男人最帅 . LOL. eh wait, he's just my student. dont anyhow think. he's like 5 year old k. ahhas
anw, was fb-ing and saw a couple of status that explains PARTIALLY what im feeling right now.
' Will there ever be someone to care and guide me through this. So sad so upset so useless so lifeless. Silence is what I hear now. Aching is what I feel now. But there's only myself to lean on, to push on. But I'm really ... Gonna lose that grip... Falling, falling ....'
i guess some of u know whose status this belongs to. but anw, i think im also gg to lose that grip. grip to what i dont know specifically. just dont feel right.been feeling v trapped. trapped btw what, i also dont know.
just hate those insensitive feelings that ppl potray. its really kind of sad. but what else can u do, but to just ignore. i already told myself not to get affected by things thats not worth it at all. if treated this way, then whatever ba. its alright. okie, i admit that i already got affected by everything . bearing the consequences and asking me not to do this and that. and even pinpointing things that 've already done thats is wrong(in ur opinion). this just shows that u didnt bother to find out how i feel about everything. but like i said, its alright. and actions done which got me all bizarre . nvm. its alright. as long as i did my best in salvaging everything, i think i've done my part. and i can say that theres not only one victim, at the end of the day, im v sure 'll get hurt most. but im glad that it was very straightforward and right to the point in which u wanted to tell me whats ur viewpoint although u're not involved directly.
and i told myself to chill about certain things, but at the end of everything, i lose the battle. no matter how i psycho-ed myself, right from the v beginning(since the day arghh. shant say) GG. not that im angry. but more of confused.. thinking of ways to get out. but the thought just lingers in my mind. 'll definitely get nagged by some of my friends if this truth is out.. thats why, right now, i just prefer everything to maintain at where it is. i dont want complication. if 've kept this for so many months, i believe i can continue keeping it to myself. cos. i really dont want complication. and i dont want to hear any results.
and i wish everything will go on fine for my cousin. sth unfortunate happened. ): dont wanna blog about the details here. but still wishing her well .
